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15 May 2025

No. 98 (cartoon)

Sharks are older than trees.

I had no idea.

No surprises there.

16 May 2025

Down the Same Drain

Fools and geniuses are indifferent to what others say.

I wrote that months ago, and I’ve been wondering what to do with it ever since. I couldn’t find that attributed to anyone, but it seemed as stupid as it was arrogant—and vice-versa—to claim that I came up with the idea. Thus I was relieved when I discovered that Georgia O’Keeffe said it better than I did.

“I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.”

Thanks, Georgia!

17 May 2025

Pho Logic

Dr. Lehman wrote to pooh-pooh my pooh-poohing of an “artificially intelligent” computer pooh-poohing the idea of boiling a steak: “Boiling steak is not a common or recommended method for cooking steak, as it can result in a tough and dry steak.” That’s quite enough pooh, so let’s move back to the cow in hot water, or not.

She pointed out that she and Julia Child boil a thick chuck steak when making Boeuf Bourguignon, and that she uses the same approach for curries and stews. And then there’s your Chinese hot pot that uses flank steak that’s been cubed or sliced into a boiling broth, the same technique that’s used in Vietnamese pho.

I had to admit her evidence was convincing. After all, pho logic always beats faux reasoning.

18 May 2025

Tiny Artist Dispenser

I was pleased and surprised to discover that the art on the walls at Compound Gallery in Emeryville wasn’t bad. (That’s high praise where I come from.) And I was delighted when I spotted Tiny Artist Dispenser. What a brilliant idea!

I’m not sure what’s in the little capsules in the gumball machine; I haven’t had a quarter in my pocket for years. I like the uncertainty; I’m glad the contents remain a mystery.

I describe myself as working in my little bubble breathing my own fumes, so perhaps I can make arrangements with the gallery owner to fill the machine with my cremains. I think that would certainly cement my lack of legacy as a two-bit artist.

(One-eighth of a dollar is a bit.)

19 May 2025

The Poop Rule

Amanda Johnson has caught the attention of the hoarder community—probably most of the populace—with her “poop rule.” Hoarders have great difficulty discarding anything; that’s how they earned their moniker. And so, she asked her clients if they’d hang on to something if it was covered in shit.

(As a semantic aside, I stopped using the word “poop” when I was six, unless it referred to the raised deck on the stern of a ship.)

I have a rigid scientific mind, and I must address the important questions that namby-pamby researchers have overlooked. (Achtung: delicate readers may want to skip the remainder of this paragraph.) Were the experiments conducted using human waste or droppings from another species? If it’s the latter, there’s a huge difference between dog doo and cow pies. And if it’s human waste, are we talking about Dijon baby crap or feces harvested from the bloated intestine from a rotting corpse?

I’m skeptical and then some when it comes to fads, but I like Johnson’s litmus test. Excreta would destroy my computers and keyboards, but I think I’d hold my nose and go on with my relatively few possessions that remained functional after a thorough cleaning.

This healthy exercise could also make for a charming parlour trick. The next time you go to a dinner party, smear the excrement of your choice on a few things at your host’s home and see what s/he keeps or discards.

Hilarity shall certainly ensue!

20 May 2025

Art Shape

There’s a trash can at the Center for Clear Thinking’s entrance for workshop attendees to deposit any art they may have on them, since “abstracts that clutter the mind inhibit logic.” I photographed that in one of my rare documentary photographs, Art Shape.

That’s one of the myriad things I love about being an artist: a scrambled brain unencumbered by reason makes for clear thinking.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2025 David Glenn Rinehart