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23 July 2026

No. 9,086 (cartoon)

You’re not beautiful enough to be so stupid.

How can you say such a thing?

By stating the obvious and enunciating clearly.

24 July 2026

Archiving Chronicles, Part II

Derek laughed when I caviled about all the grief I was going through scanning my old photographs. He pulled out his phone/pocket computer and said that it would easily store all the music he could possibly record in one lifetime. (I’m glad that he didn’t add “Neener neener neener” even though he must have been tempted.)

He was right, of course, but I’m glad I abandoned serious music as a teenager for the slovenly life of working alone as a visual artist. Unlike Derek, I’ve never once complained about working with difficult colleagues in general and drummers in particular.

25 July 2026

It’s Wine, Right?

The story I’m about to tell you is true; it really did happen to a friend of a friend. I know that’s the definition of an urban myth, but I don’t care because it’s a good story regardless of its truthiness.

I’ll call the main characters Dick and Jane since I’m too lazy to come up with better pseudonyms. Jane is a young woman who is very attractive but not all that smart, and Dick is a wealthy man who has to be older than Jane’s father. They enjoy a symbiotic relationship; ’nuff said about that.

He decided to impress her by taking her to an expensive dinner at an expensive restaurant. When the sommelier brought the obligatory bottle of expensive wine, Dick insisted that Jane have the initial taste.

She took a sip, swallowed, and furrowed her brow before delivering her pronouncement to the sommelier.

“It’s wine, right?”

I believe that really happened. And even if it didn’t, I’m sure it will.

26 July 2026

No Lodging Zone, San Francisco

The formerly homeless people in San Francisco have come up with affordable housing that works: tents. For about the cost of renting an apartment for a day, one can buy a tent large enough for a couple. As for the other forms of affordable housing, there aren’t any for anyone uneducated, suffering from mental and physical health problems, or too drunk and drugged to afford to live here.

I qualify for “affordable housing” since I make under sixty-eight thousand dollars a year, but even if someone gave me a condo, I couldn’t afford the associated costs.

Living in a tent on the sidewalk isn’t as great as it looks; it’s illegal. I was reminded of that when I made No Lodging Zone, San Francisco. The sign on the wall of a construction site declared that the sidewalk was a No Lodging Zone, and provided a phone number to call if was spotted.

27 July 2026

Robert Plant’s Manic Nirvana

I just listened to Robert Plant’s Manic Nirvana for the first time. (It came out in 1990; I guess I may have been busy at the time.) It sounded fine with one irritating exception: a dozen of the songs don’t have an ending; they just fade away abruptly, like it was time for the union guy at the mixing board to take a contractual break.

Peter Wolf had the right idea when he remarked, “Every good song has a beginning, a middle, and an end.” (I remember hearing him say that, but the Internet doesn’t.) Instead of complaining about pestiferous songs that run out of juice, I’ll repeat what I kvetched on 10 June 2020.

I dislike songs that fade out instead of concluding; they annoy me. It’s the musical equivalent of listening to a drunk who eventually stops blathering on and on after realizing the words dribbling out haven’t changed in too long.

I suppose it’s also like a poem that ends in “blah blah blah.” There are probably a lot of poems that end that way, but since I generally avoid poetry, how would I know?

Meanwhile, back to music: what’s wrong with the consarned idjits who make such stupid recordings? Yep, it sure is a good day to be a curmudgeon!

And meanwhile again back here in 2026, I hasten to add that Plant is neither consarned nor an idjit; all of his recordings I’ve heard from this millennium now have proper endings.

28 July 2026

The Fix Isn’t In

I’ve been buying and replacing the same Italian hiking boots for decades. The Vicenzans’ boots last for years until everything seems to wear out at the same time. I had my very first problem this month when I needed to replace the top lacing hook after it snapped off.

The solution was as simple as the breakage. I took the boot to the tiny Chinese shoe repair shop a couple blocks away, and eight dollars later—cash only!—it was restored and should last at least a couple more years.

Later, I wondered when I last had anything fixed. With the exception of clothing, I could only think of two previous examples in my life. One was a few years ago when one of my Nikons was recalled, and the other was a couple years previously when Apple repaired a defective watch under warranty.

The way things are going, I doubt I’ll ever have anything ever repaired again before I die unless the manufacturer again pays for it. That’s life in the modern world ...

29 July 2026

An English [sic] Muffin and the Powers of Eleven

I cobbled this piece together from things I pinched from all over the place. No; strike that.

An English [sic] Muffin and the Powers of Eleven was informed by many other works.

I purloined the original concept from a piece in America’s Finest News Source, Watch What Happens When You Zoom In On This Bread. I pilfered the zooming out bit from Charles and Ray Eames’ The Powers of Ten. And finally, I filched the idea of taking it all the way to eleven from Nigel Tufnel.

Coming next weak: more of the same.

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©2026 David Glenn Rinehart